1. Fill garden apron pockets. Weight train.
2. Make cucumber moonbat hats for Town Day.
3. Have Elsa Dorfman photograph each one.
4. Slice thinly. Mulch neighborhood.
5. Serve cucumber aperitif/hair conditioner/poison ivy salve with cocktail umbrellas.
6. Carve miniature cucumber totems. Worship.
7. Create cucumber theater with handmade costumes and zucchini sets.
8. Give eye relaxation treatment to Belmont.
9. Dr. Ruth lecture series!
10. Remember winter. Declare delicious every single one.